Hi all, sorry to have dropped off the communication cliff, as it were. It's hard to believe I could feel this busy at a Buddhist meditation center in the middle of nowheresville France, and harder still to believe that somehow I feel more stressed out cooking at said meditation center 30 hours a week than I did tooling around the shabbiest neighborhoods of the Bay Area in a death-trap of a Chevy van knocking on god knows whose door, hoping that whatever stranger answered would invite me in so I could talk all about whatever messed up crime they had witnessed and/or been involved in. It took me a few years to burn out as a criminal defense investigator, but it seems to be only taking me a few months to burn out as a vegetarian hippie-dippie buddhist cook. :)
I shouldn't say I'm burnt out, though. Just a bit exhausted from the non-stop work of feeding people. I don't know how families have done it throughout time....non-stop fed and picked up after the hordes in their home. Mainly, I just wish I had more time to tool around this insanely idyllic part of France and/or to sit on my butt and meditate. Part of my reason for not posting is that much of what's happening to me here is internal. And as is my wont, I often don't talk about what's most real. How many of you have that same, I'll say "bad", habit? I'm trying to get over that tendency, to not bring what's most important or vibrant or real to the table. Living in this little community of relatively like-minded folks is helping. A symptom of trying to change may be noted in the slight confessional tone this blog is beginning to take. :)
Anyway, lots going on in the heart and head, while the butt sits on a cushion. And so, I seem not to have blogged. I have been sick in bed the last 4 days, however, and thought it about time to post a few photos and say a hello. I miss you all. I miss home, wherever that is. Someday, can we all buy land somewhere, and if not live there together, at least have an annual reunion? All the people in the world (that I know, anyway) who I care or have cared about, in one place? A big dinner party, with live music of our making, that lasts for weeks. Ahhh.
The teachers this week have strong ties with India, so I'm running now to do some group chanting before the evening ends. Another Ahhhhh.
Send me news, and I'll do the same, probably belatedly.
Thanks for posting... I think internalizing might be in the genes... along with stressing out, burning out and the need for ever changing surroundings. The pics are beautiful.
ReplyDeleteJill,
ReplyDeleteGreat pics and as usual, a nice write up. It seems like some of your post relates to something I think about from time to time, which is this concept of living in the moment vs "capturing" the moment in that those two things are very mutually exclusive. We all seem fairly hung up on snapping shots, leaving updates and blogging, that I think we can tend to lose some of the core of what we're experiencing. Still, keep updating...I'm enjoying following your journey. :-)
I hope I receive an invitation to Jill's Global Dinner Party!
ReplyDeleteHi Friend. What bolt of motivation dislodged you from the Bay Area and settled you in ???, France? I hope that internal stuff you're blogging about finds its way out. Or away. Or whatever.
I had lunch today with a coworker in her forties and we talked for two hours about trying to figure out our lives, ourselves, our purposes. Perhaps a bit adolescent, but knowingly so!
Best of luck with your searching -- it sure seems to take you to some interesting places!
Adam